When I was about to finish school, I thought everything would change. I thought i’d sail through university and strive for success and make something of myself. Now i’ve finished my third year, looking back I think “what have I done with my time?” I mean sure, I’ve had fun, partied, worked hard, and done most things a student should do, but I expected so much more. I’ve been afraid to join clubs and societies because I’m always conscious of people judging me and thinking things like “What does she think she’s doing? What a loser” and laughing about me. I wanted to cook, go to the gym, be good at something. But i’ve always felt ashamed for some reason. I compare myself to others, I see what they’re doing with their lives and think “why can’t I be like them?” When I should be thinking “why should I want to be like them? I’m me, and that’s fucking great.“ My low self esteem has taken over me, and I don’t know how to cure it. I feel like I live to make people happy, and spend less time making myself happy. Maybe that’s my problem, maybe I just care too much.
If anyone else has gone through times like these then please leave a comment. We just need to remember that when times are hard, they will get better.